it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
