I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
