So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
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Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just had sex on a roof
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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