does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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