I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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