Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
