What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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