I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
