I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
