So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
