my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
