She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
