Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
