I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
