I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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