Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
