Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize