somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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