We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
