I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
