i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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