I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
