Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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