based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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