that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
