just come out here and I will go home with you...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
