I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
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I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
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You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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