What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
