people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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