I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
And then he peed in my hair
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
