good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
