rhymes with "ouble enetration"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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