Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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