Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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