i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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