dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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