I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
