i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dicks are not precious.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
