we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
