How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
