:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
