i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Pants are for mortals
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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