My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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