If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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