so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize