If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
