You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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