Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
