I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
