Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
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I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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