they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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