addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
