it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
