Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
