Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
