Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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